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The Napa Valley Triathlon Club
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No, unfortunately, that is not a typo. 
During the drunken boastful merriment of an afternoon drinking at the rooftop bar of the Marine Memorial Club in San Francisco, four members of the club, Lance, Rick, Greg and Kyle, agreed to compete in the 2003 Vineman Full-ass Triathlon.  Unfortunately, we shook on it.  Also unfortunately, multiple photographs were taken of us shaking on it.  Dammit.  There were other NVTC members present but all were busy laughing or not drunk enough to agree to the contest. 
At stake, (not our manliness or pride, as repeated thrashings by 50 year old Athenas have already robbed us of that) is the highly coveted "Big Ernie" cup, which can be viewed at it's place of residence at the New York Yacht Club.  
The rules are as follows.  Each competitor is handicapped based on their most recent 1/2 IM distance time, with such time being somehow multiplied by the figure of 1.37.  I'm not exactly sure how this is supposed to happen, as the notes from my cocktail napkin are somewhat muddled.  This I do know, you will recieve a 10 minute credit for each glass of wine, bottle of beer, or shot of booze you consume in the 24 hours preceding the start time of the race. 

Vineman Website

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